December 31, 2006
Posted at: 4:07 pm by Timothy Haroutunian
Categories: Entertainment and News
The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who, uh, remove themselves from it…
Out of the 8 nominees for the Darwin Award, half of them I felt were worth mentioning because of how dumb people can be. I really hope that this is one award I never get.
Star Wars
Like two people, 17 and 20, who imitated Darth Vader and made light sabres from fluorescent light tubes. That’s right, they opened up fluoresceent tubes, poured gasoline inside, and lit the end… As one can imagine, a Star Wars sized explosion was not far behind. One died, the other survived to ‘fess up to their creative, but stupid, reenactment.
Darwin says: “Some moderators say 17 is too young, but I disagree. This one passes the “minors rule” because 17 is legal driving age. Old enough to pump gas is old enough to know not to light it.”
High on Life
Take a deep breath…
Two more candidates have thrown themselves into the running for a Darwin Award. The feet of Jason and Sara, both 21, were found protruding from a deflated, huge helium advertising balloon. Jason was a college student, and Sara attended community college, but apparently their education had glossed over the importance of oxygen.
When one breathes helium, the lack of oxygen in the bloodstream causes a rapid loss of consciousness. Some euthanasia experts advocate the use of helium to painlessly end one’s life.
The pair pulled down the 8′ balloon, and climbed inside. Their last words consisted of high-pitched, incoherent giggling as they slowly passed out and passed into the hereafter.
Sheriff’s deputies said the two were not victims of foul play. No drugs or alcohol were found. The medical examiner reported that helium inhalation was a significant factor in their deaths. A family member said “Sara was mischievous, to be honest. She liked fun and it cost her.”
Copper Kite
Benjamin Franklin reputedly flew his kite in a lightning storm, going on to discover that lightning equals electricity. However, certain precautions must be taken, as Ben Franklin took, to avoid sudden electrocution.
Kennon, 26, replicated the conditions of Ben Franklin’s experiment, but sans safety precautions. He was flying a kite with a short string that he had extended with a length of thin copper wire.
The copper made contact with a high tension line, sending a bolt of artificial lightning down the wire towards the man. To cap the story off, Kennon’s father told listeners, his son was an electrician and “should have known better.” Kennon is survived by his parents, six sisters, and five brothers.
Missed Stop
I am 14, and I know for a fact this story is true.
My father works as an investigator for an insurance company, a job he frequently reminds me of how much he hates. One of his major clients is a train station in a nearby city. On a day not unlike any other, a man awoke on a train to find that he had missed his stop. Instead of looking out the window or asking another passenger to find out where the train was, he ripped open the doors of the train and threw himself from the train, much to the astonishment of onlooking passengers.
However, had the ill-fated passenger taken the time to look out the window before leaping from the train, he would have noticed that the train was not only moving in excess of 50 MPH, but that it was also moving over a bridge. He died at the scene in the Hudson River.
My dad covered this case for the insurance company. The family of the deceased was suing because “you should not be able to open doors on a moving train.” My dad’s defense was “you should not open doors on a moving train.” I imagine the case was either dropped or settled.
darwin, charles darwin, darwin award, dumb people, people, evolution, killed
December 30, 2006
Posted at: 11:06 am by Timothy Haroutunian
Categories: Entertainment and News
Biggest Villains
- George W. Bush, 25 percent
- Osama bin Laden, 8 percent
- Saddam Hussein, 6 percent
- President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, 5 percent
- Kim Jong Il, North Korean leader, 2 percent
- Donald Rumsfeld, 2 percent
- John Kerry, 1 percent
- Rosie O’Donnell, 1 percent
- Dick Cheney, 1 percent
- Hillary Clinton, 1 percent
The fact that George Bush ranks number one on the Top Villains is very sad considering he is the “President of the United States”. However, 71% of the country feels that he is not doing a good job as president and that the war in Iraq should end.
Biggest Heroes
- George W. Bush, 13 percent
- Soldiers/troops in Iraq, 6 percent
- Oprah Winfrey, 3 percent
- Barack Obama, 3 percent
- Jesus Christ, 3 percent
- Bono, 2 percent
- Angelina Jolie, 1 percent
- Al Gore, 1 percent
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1 percent
- Colin Powell, 1 percent
The only reason that President Bush tops the heroes list is because of the troops in Iraq. If there were no troops risking their lives in Iraq, President Bush would rank just above Britney Spears and OJ Simpson.
biggest heroes, biggest villains, bush, george w. bush, heroes, president, villains
December 29, 2006
Posted at: 7:51 pm by Timothy Haroutunian
Categories: Rants and Randomness
While home for Christmas, I got to spend time with my nephew and he keeps on growing bigger every time I see him. He was dressed in a reindeer outfit and it was very cute.
I will have more pictures when I get them. Enjoy
cameron, christmas, family, nephew, uncle, xmas
December 28, 2006
Posted at: 4:48 pm by Timothy Haroutunian
Categories: Rants and Randomness
It has been 1 year since I first started blogging under the name Armenian Eagle. My first blog article was actually using the the Plymouth State University Blogs, but I was redirecting it from armenianeagle.com. Once I realized that I would enjoy blogging, I setup my blog on my own server so that I would have more control over the theme and the plugins.
This post is my 228th post and it was very surprising to have that many considering that I didn’t even think blogging would last a month. Last year one of my new years resolutions was to post more often than a few times a month. This year’s resolution is to blog every day and to increase my traffic and online presence.
I am in the process of redesigning my blog theme and hoping to launch a generic release of it. I have also written two wordpress plugins that are almost finished. I hope to be releasing them in the next month once I fix the minor glitches. One plugin is a Category Converter where you can move the posts in your categories to another easily. The other is a plugin that produces a customizable RSS Feed of Casey Bisson’s “bsuite” which is a blog stats plugin. Check back in January for updates to see if they are complete.
I know that my blog isn’t as big as some of my co-workers Zach Tirrell, Matt Batchelder, Casey Bisson and former co-worker Jon Emmons, but I plan on bringing my stats up over the next year.
Current Total Reads: 120,940
Current Technorati Ranking: 305,135
Current Alexa Ranking: 3,054,634
Top Five Stories:
Thank you very much to all of those who read my blog and enjoy the variety of topics. I look forward to writing more to keep everyone who visits my blog frequently interested. I hope to continue on the following topics: Technology, Web, Sports, Armenia, Boy Scouts and Entertainment. I hope to expand to more topics to bring in a different set of readers. Enjoy the next year of my blog because I am ecstatic about it and I hope you will be too.
1 year, armenian eagle, birthday, blog